Befriend Your Fear

A Gentle Practice for When You’re Putting Yourself Out There

〰️

A Gentle Practice for When You’re Putting Yourself Out There 〰️

So you’ve got an idea—something bold, exciting, or just a little bit tender—and bam, fear shows up like an uninvited guest at your inner brainstorm session.

I know the feeling. In fact, I’m in it right now.

I’ve been avoiding writing this blog post for days. Not because I didn’t have something to say—but because I was full of fear.

Fear of saying the wrong thing.
Fear that I don’t have anything real or valuable to share.
Fear that no one will care.

And the deeper fear underneath it all…

What if this whole Eleventh House Labs thing is a mistake?

I could’ve kept distracting myself. Kept tweaking other to-do’s.

But instead, I sat down and tried something different.

I got quiet. I got curious.

And when I tuned in, I could feel it—fear was heavy in my chest.
Hot on the back of my neck.
Tight in my jaw.

I asked her gently: “What are you really afraid of?”
She said: “Rejection.”

Of course. Of course she wants to protect me from that.

So I thanked her—“Thank you for trying to keep me safe. Thank you for watching out for the pain of people not liking what I have to say.”

Then, I called a good friend.
I didn’t pretend everything was fine or push through the discomfort.
I just said, “Can we have dinner? I need some connection tonight.”

And slowly, something loosened.
Because the truth is: most people aren’t scrutinizing our every move.
We’re all just trying our best.

And I didn’t start Eleventh House Labs to avoid fear.
I started it because I believe in authentic, intentional, values-aligned leadership.
Because I believe in doing the thing—even when fear is sitting right next to me.

So what if it works out better than I can imagine?
What if the next step… is just writing about fear?

Try This: A Simple Practice to Befriend Your Fear

Next time fear shows up in the middle of your dreams, try this gentle process:

1. Notice fear is here – “Hey girl hey!”
Just naming fear’s presence is powerful. You don’t have to fix it—just notice it.

2. Connect with your body – Where is fear hanging out? Shoulders? Chest? Belly? Neck? Get curious, not judgmental.

3. Ask what she’s protecting you from – Fear usually has a job: to keep you safe. What’s the danger she sees?

4. Thank her – “Thanks for trying to protect me. I see you.”

5. Reality check – What’s actually true? What’s the evidence for and against fear’s story?

6. Reimagine – Fear is creative with catastrophe. What if this goes beautifully?

7. Take one small step – What’s the tiniest next move you can take with fear beside you?

8. Nourish yourself – You just moved through something big. A walk, a call, a deep breath, dinner with a friend—what would feel good right now?

Fear might be loud, but she’s not the boss.
She can walk beside you, but she doesn’t get to drive.

So here I am, writing the blog post I was afraid to write.
Maybe someone needed to read this.
Maybe that someone is you.

And maybe your next brave step is just… the next small step.
I’m cheering you on.